What If?

Sam loses someone important to her, and realizes just how hard it is to say goodbye to someone you care about.  SamJack

Genre: Angst/Romance

Notes/Comments: I know, I know, I write way too much angst.  I thought it up yesterday and wrote it down, and yeah it needed more, but I loved the overall story, so I added to it on the computer.  At the end of the story, you can see I have lyrics from Kate Winslet’s ‘What If’ and Phil Collins’s ‘You’ll be in my heart’.

Archiving: You can put it on your site as long as my name’s on it.   This story is archived on my site (stargatesg1gateway.tk) and fanfiction.net.

Pairings: Sam/Jack, Sam/Teal’c Friendship

--

The gate whirled and spun to life and SG-1 stepped through, Teal’c carrying Jack over his shoulders.  Sam was a bit bruised and had a bandage on her arm, and she looked like she was going to cry.  Seeing that Jack was hanging limply over Teal’c’s shoulders, severely injured, General Hammond could see why.

“Major, report.”

“He’s…  Gone, sir.”

He looked at Jack, and then looked back at the Major, who looked worse and worse by the second.  “Debrief in one hour.  Get a medical team down here!”

--

“Major, what happened?”

“We arrived on P5C-89Y and were immediately brought to the local system lord, Anubis.  They… Knocked us out…  He was d…  They would stab him with their devices and beat him up and they forced me to watch them do this…  They laughed as I begged them to stop… and…  Yesterday night… they had decided to make me a host… He fought for until his last breath… and…”

Sam began to tear up, all the events of the past few days flooded her mind and she could help but let a tear escape. 

“Report to the infirmary, Major, SG-1 is on downtime for the next week.”

“Yes, sir.”

--

Sam was in her lab, holding a picture of Jack she kept in her drawer, thinking about everything that happened the past few years. 

“Major Carter, are you all right?” Teal’c was standing in the doorway, looking more or less like his usual self.

“Why is it every man I care about dies?  Every single one of them!  They all end up , and now where I had hope…  Where I truly felt like I would die for them…  They die for me.”

“O'Neill cared about you a great deal, Major Carter, he once told me so on a mission.”

“I can’t say goodbye, Teal’c, no matter how hard I try, there’s still a part of me that doesn’t want to give up hope, not to let go and move on.”

“I believe that listening to that “part” of you would be most wise, Major Carter.”

“Thanks, T.”

Teal’c left the room, leaving her alone to think some more.  While she was thinking about everything, the phone rang.

“Carter.”

“Hey, .” Oh lord, it was Pete.  She really didn’t want to talk to him right now.

“Hey, honey.”

“Hey, you wanna have dinner somewhere?”

“Oh, Pete, I don’t know...  I’ve had a bad day at work, and I really don’t want to talk about it.” She hung up the phone, it was rude, but just thinking about Jack made tears come to her eyes as she remembered the last words he said.

“I love you.”

She felt something, someone was there.  Someone was there, and she had a good idea of who.

“Thanks, Jack, it means a lot to me.”

“No problem.” He said back.  Yeah, it was definitely Jack.

“Jack?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you going to come back?”

“Soon, I hope.  Oma’s Fan club is really boring.  Not even a single TV here!  In fact, tell me I said that when I get back.”

She smiled, “Yes, sir.”

“Sam, I’m an ascended being, and you’re gonna call me sir?”

“Sorry, Jack, it’s an old habit.”

“So how’ve Danny and T been?”

“Daniel’s reverted to his office since you left.  He’s actually never left base for a week.”
”Playing with his rocks, is he?”

“Teal’c’s been well, okay, but not much different than his usual self, that is, until someone mentions Anubis, and he goes nuts.”

“Well, better go pull them out of their respective holes.”

Sam smiled again.  He was just about to leave when she called out to him, “Jack?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you, too.”

He smiled, and he was gone.  She sat at her desk, just hoping that he’d be back soon.  Speaking of which, she thought to herself…  She picked up the phone- it was time she ended a certain relationship with a one Pete Shanahan.

--

3 weeks later

“Chevron 7 locked…  Receiving IDC, sir.”

“Who is it?”

“It’s SG-1, sir, but this code expired 2 weeks ago.”

“Get Major Carter down here ASAP and open the iris.” He left the room, knowing who it was and that something would happen that could be interpreted as going against regulations, and he wasn’t going to influence whatever happened by being there.  He’d watch it from the control room.

Walter slammed his hand down on the scanner, and the iris opened.  He then grabbed the mic, “Major Carter, to the control room, Major Carter to the control room.”

Almost a minute later, Sam entered the control room, “What is it, Sergeant?”

Walter pointed at the window, obviously not paying a whole lot of attention to her.  She looked out of the window and saw a familiar man standing on the ramp.

“Oh my god…  Jack…”

Here I stand alone,

With this weight upon my heart,

And it will not go away.

Jack looked up into the control room, to see Sam. 

“Sam…”

In my head I keep on looking back,

Right back to the start,

Wondering what it was that made you change.

Sam ran down to the blast door.

Cause I tried but I had to draw the line,

And still this question keeps on spinning in my mind-

She ran through the doors towards Jack, wrapping her arms around his neck, crying on his shoulder.  He wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her off the ground, and spinning her around in a circle.

What if I had never let you go?

Would you be the man I used to know?

What if I had never walked away?

Cause I can love you more than I can say.

He let her down.  “How did you…  You were...  I saw you…” Another tear escaped, “I’m really glad you’re okay.”

“Hey, don’t cry.  I’m back, and I love you.”

He cupped her cheek, wiping away her tears with his .  She looked up at him staring into his eyes.  He kissed her, deeply and passionately. 

If I’d stayed,

If you’d tried,

If we could only turn back time,

But I guess we’ll never know.

Jack took hold of Sam’s hand, never wanting to let go, and she didn’t want him to.  They stood there, just looking into each other’s eyes. 

Oh stop your crying,

It will be alright,

Just take my hand,

Hold it tight,

I will protect you,

From all around you,

I will be here,

Don’t you cry.

His hands slipped down to her waist, and she wrapped her arms around his neck.  He smiled, “I don’t think I can let go, Sam.”

She giggled, “I don’t want you to.”

“Well then, in that case…” He kissed her again.

Born so small,

You seem so strong,

My arms will hold you,

Keep you safe and warm,

This bond between us,

can’t be broken,

I will be here,

Don’t you cry.

Cause you’ll be in my heart,

Yes you’ll be in my heart,

From this day on,

Now and forevermore.

You’ll be in my heart,

No matter what they say,

You’ll be here in my heart,

Always.

He cupped her cheek, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”